Ever wonder what Best Buy® was almost named?

The Marketing Research Department of Senseless Solutions uncovered this secret memo from the Marketing Department of Best Buy®! These are never-seen-before names they were considering for their stores, and comments from their executive leadership!

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Dear Team:
Thanks for your hard work on developing these names for our soon-to-be-open-for-business big-box electronics store. We’ve reviewed these finalists. See below for comments.

Decent Buy – Not sure that this is strong enough, and sounds slightly Puritanical.

Promising Purchase – Not sure the acronym is going to be all that helpful to us.

Super House of Incomparable Technology – Yeah, speaking of acronym awareness…

Only Dumbasses Shop Elsewhere – I know we wanted edgy, but insulting the customer is too edgy.

Electronics At the Best Prices, No Matter What Those A-holes at ABC Warehouse Say – Not catchy enough, and won’t fit into the yellow tag logo we’ve already decided on.

Machiavellian Electronics Supplier Driving Smaller Stores Out of Business – Fire whoever came up with this immediately.

Soaring Pastures of Digital Lament – For the last time, tell John to not bring his problems or his Walt Whitman/James Joyce crap to the workplace.

All Nude Electronics Review – For the last time, tell Mike that we’ve moved away from the sex-sells approach after that digital camera fiasco.

You’re Not Getting As Good a Buy As You Think Thanks to Our Conniving Markup Strategy – For the last time, tell Mary that the truth-in-our-advertising memo was an April Fool’s joke.

Big Store with TVs and Stuff – Let me guess. This came from that consultant, the same one who suggested, “Big Building With Lots of DVDs and Stuff.” Right?

Like a Supermarket, But With CDs and Stuff - How much are we paying this consultant again?

Good Buy – Sounds too much like ‘good bye’, which might drive customers away from the store, which would be bad for our first quarter earnings report.

Better Buy – We’re getting close. Is there any way we can ratchet this one up?

Crappy Buy – Okay, see, this just isn’t going to work.