A Senseless Solutions Initiative: Redesigning the Biohazard Symbol, Part Four

From: Vice President of Marketing, Senseless Solutions
To: Creative Director, Department of Creative Concepts and Breath Mint Flavor Development
Subject: Feedback for final version of Biohazard redesign

Yo!

Thanks to you and your team for all your super hard work in getting this biohazard redesign project finalized! We’re so thrilled that you’ve worked so hard at incorporating our changes into a design that I’m CERTAIN will win us that account with the federal government! Scott really thought this final version hit the mark across the board. So tell your team SUPER FANTASTIC JOB!

Okay, so we all loved this final draft, but we’ve got just a few more changes we’re considering.

The good thing is that this version really hits the target demographic we want, because we all know that there’s no one quite as gullible as young skateboarders. The problem is that this kid looks a bit unkempt, and maybe a bit of a troublemaker. I see this kid, and I bet he’s the kind of dumbass who thinks shopping for stuff is something only popular kids and sellouts do. Something tells me this kid is going to be a nihilist or a Unabomber or something really dangerous when he grows up, and that’s not the image we want to associate with biohazardous materials. So if you can switch out the image to a guy who’s a bit less dangerous-looking and maybe a little more effeminate, we should be good to go. (But not too effeminate, please. You know what that’ll lead to.)

We absolutely LOVE the messaging here! Man, that’s some hip, rad stuff you guys laid thick here, and it’s totally in my face! I love it! The only problem is that the main message—that biohazardous stuff is dangerous—is too prominent here, and I don’t know where that is, but it’s not in my face. Have the copywriters take out that Debbie Downer stuff. We’re trying to win a contract here, not perform a public service.

Scott is glad you guys incorporated the sex-sells approach he’s been clamoring for, but he’s wondering if that black woman (what’s her name? Bounce? Booyah? Beeyatch?) is the babe we should feature in that callout. Is she even considered sexy? Scott says that he thinks Renee Zellweger is a lot sexier, so use her instead. Personally, I think that Rene Russo would be better (I LOVED her in Rocky and Bullwinkle), but Scott was pretty adamant about using Zellweger.

One more thing. While it’s fantastic that you guys found a way to incorporate all our changes and suggestions, Scott thinks this is a bit too busy. He may take a stab at doing his own version, so don’t be surprised if this final draft ends up not being in our main presentation to the government folks next week.

Other than that, SUPER FANTASTIC JOB! You and your team are really nailed this, so now that we’re wrapping up, you can start giving us some samples of our new Going Green campaign.

Sincerely,
Vice President of Marketing
Senseless Solutions
“Dedicated to becoming the second most inept creative agency.”